Self Training for Top Management

A Red Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.

He says to the waiter, 'Me want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure chief, coming right up...'

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and

Says to the waiter, 'Me want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.. What the heck was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says, 'Me training for top management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day'.

Hop up

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
Brett $hane


The next day, the boss replied the employee:

Dear Brett,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

Make sure

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, and then a shot is heard.

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

It's not love if you...

If you love someone because you think that he or she is really gorgeous...
Then it's not love..
it's - Infatuation...

If you love someone because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't...
Then it's not love..
it's - Compromise...

If you love someone because you think that you cannot live with out his touch....
Then it's not love..
it's - Lust...

If you love someone because you have been kissed by him...
Then it's not love..
it's - Inferiority Complex...

If you love someone because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings..
Then it's not love..
it's - Charity...

If you love someone because you share every thing with him...
Then it's not love..
it's - Friendship...

But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable
And you cry for him..
that's - LOVE...

Touching Moment

This is what happens at work.