Secret of a Happy Married Life

Once I was asked by my Friend, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

He asked, "Can you explain?"

I said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other decisions."

Still not convinced, Friend asked me "Give me some examples"

I said, "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

He asked, "Then what is your role?"

I said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Tiger Woods should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing, My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions"

Husband and Wife

Wife: Oye!what are you doing?

Husband: Recording this baby’s voice.

Wife: Why?

Husband: When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

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Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!

Husband: Why??

Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book "How to Cook"!!

Stamps and Envelope

A friend passed me this note.


A woman was working in a post office in California. One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!!

There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...


A person wrote:

Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the....things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked n envelope for years!" I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes that were already printed and saw several squads of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes.

Idiots of the year